Who Forted? Magazine

Get Them Drunk and Lie: Dating Advice From Ghost Hunters.

“My boyfriend and I actually met over a case of demonic infestation, so go figure.”

Ah, romance. From the depths of the internet (kudos to the keen-eyed Tony-Hart Wilden) comes a guest advice column that is almost too good to be true: “Dating Advice from Paranormal Investigators.”

Written in early 2008, the column features advice from four upstanding citizens of the ghost hunting community, including a pre-Ghost Hunters Amy Bruni.

Want to get laid? 23 year old Michael suggests scaring the hell out of your date. “Fear is the next-best thing to alcohol,” he says.

Need to get out of a relationship that isn’t going anywhere? Michelle, 33, of American Paranormal Investigations suggests lying. “I had to lie to make him understand. I told him I wanted to see someone else.”

Got the hots for a ghost hunter? 24 year old Morgan is a fan of the fib as well. “Tell them your place is haunted with things happening that are recordable, like moving objects.”

While the paranormal investigators may not be trustworthy (shocking, I know), they certainly aren’t slutty. Well, not too slutty anyway. When asked about important rules of thumb for first dates, the overwhelming responses were “no sex”.

Amy Bruni and "The Hedgehog"

Interestingly enough, the best advice from the whole crowd came from a 31 year old Amy Bruni, who didn’t know it, but was only a few months away from joining the cast of Ghost Hunters. When asked the same question as Michelle regarding getting out of a relationship, she gave this answer:

“No reason” is a good reason. It means she hasn’t done anything wrong. You’re just not feeling it, and that’s okay. It’s not fair to either of you to pretend there’s something there when there isn’t. She’ll be mad at first, but in the long run she’ll appreciate that you didn’t try drag things out.

Sound advice that doesn’t include booze or deceit. Who’d have imagined? Though if anyone asked for my advice on dating a ghost hunter, I think Brian Harnois said it best: “Dude, run!”

For the complete “Dating Advice from Paranormal Investigators”, head over to the Nerve archives.

Greg Newkirk

Greg Newkirk

Senior Editor at Who Forted
Documentary film-maker, professional monster chaser, and mystery monger, Greg is the senior editor for Who Forted? 'Zine. When he's not occupied by writing about the wide world of the weird, he's busy directing and editing documentary films like The Bigfoot Hunter: Still Searching or writing about offbeat travel for Roadtrippers. He's currently in production on his new project: an original documentary web series titled Planet Weird. He currently lives in Cincinnati.
Greg Newkirk
Greg Newkirk

3 Comments

  1. Brandy Stark

    05/14/2011 at 4:39 AM

    OK, this is cute and I have a bit to add. Back in the pre-Facebook/social networking days, the most popular form of mass communication was via the yahoo ghost group lists. I was on at least 14 of them. One list, which I joined later and am still on (probably until they see this) sent out 17 – 30 DIFFERENT spam messages every 3 months, asking for donations, asking members to support a band that the founder was in, and, indeed, suggesting that people pay so much to the group in order to place a paranormal personal. They were advertising a dating service for paranormal investigators. Apparently, we can’t mingle in normal society, so it is best to stay with our own kind.

    This activity has never ceased to amaze me. In recent months, the founder of this e-list group (which is to exchange paranormal information) berated his list for failing to participat enough (many of the e-lists are gone or have minimal activity. Most have shown up via FB!) I’m not sure what this means for his paranormal dating listing (I have never participated. Perhaps that is what I need to do; might boost my dating life! ;).

  2. bigfun

    03/13/2013 at 5:03 PM

    i dont understand how amy could of stood that close ron jeremy of all ppl that dude is one of the nasty guys on the face of the earth you dont know were he has been his herpees might get on you amy the only thing dude knew how to do his hole life was make porno movies the sick and worthless fuck that he is hope you took a shower when u got home amy is all i can say

    • Will

      04/23/2013 at 1:10 PM

      He has a Bachelor’s degree in theatre AND education with his Master’s being in Special Education. He was a Special Education teacher in NY before quit to go into legit acting but ended up in porn to support himself. Perhaps, judging from your comment, if he had remained a Special Education teacher; you would’ve been in his class for a few consecutive years.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>