UPDATED: Satanists to Hold Rally for Florida Governor Rick Scott (Who’ll Regret Signing SB 98)

Creepy Ass Florida Governor Rick Scott

UPDATE: It’s come out that this rally is related to an upcoming mockumentary about the “nicest Satanic cult in the world”. An online casting call listed the following:

“We are seeking people from all walks of life, goths, grandparents, soccer moms, etc to be the followers of a charismatic yet down to earth Satanic cult leader,” the post stated. “The shoot will be on January 25th in downtown Tallahassee. Actors will be required to wear tasteful Satanic garb.”

I thought the whole thing sounded a bit cheeky. Nevertheless, the point of the rally seems to remain the same: making Scott regret signing Senate Bill 98. The original story reads below.

I always had a feeling he was in league with the Prince of Darkness.

Lucien Greaves, spokesperson and “Overlord” for the Satanic Temple, told local news station WPBF25 that he and his fellow Satanists are planning on having a rally for Florida governor Rick Scott later this month. The rally, planned for the 25th of January, will be held outside of his office in Tallahassee.

“We feel it’s time for Satanists to come out and say exactly who we are,” Greaves said in a statement. ”The Satanic Temple embraces the free expression of religion, and Satanists are happy to show their support of Rick Scott who — particularly with SB 98 — has reaffirmed our American freedom to practice our faith openly, allowing our Satanic children the freedom to pray in school.”

I get the distinct feeling that this wasn’t what Scott intended when he signed the bill, one that explicitly gives students, not teachers, ”sole discretion in determining whether an inspirational message is to be delivered” at any student assembly, without fear of “official influence” one way or the other. I can already hear the phone calls from angry parents after the first high schooler decides to let loose with a hearty “Hail Satan!” at the next pep rally. After that, the floodgates are open.

The founder of the Satanic Temple, Neil Bricke, will be speaking at the rally which is expected to be something of an outreach mission for the Temple’s mostly online community.

“You don’t build up your membership unless people know about you,” The Satanic Temple Overlord told the Palm Beach Post. “So this allows us to get our message out in public. We’re hoping it will reduce the stigmatism.”

The rally is poised to demonstrate the old adage “be careful what you wish for” in a largely conservative South that doesn’t take too kindly to “queers”, “lefties”, and most of all, “devil worshippers”. But while it’s certainly provided the opportunity to monumentally backfire on lawmakers when throngs of black-cloaked Luciferians begin chanting on the front steps of the capitol building, it also provides an excellent chance to see just how serious they are about the bill, something that I get the feeling these Satanists are being somewhat cheeky about.

So, Florida high schoolers, remember.. the next time the local youth group decides to lead everyone in an overly-awkward prayer during a school assembly, it’s your state-given right to stand up and praise the Unholy One, and there’s not a god damned thing anyone can do about it.

Greg Newkirk

Documentary film-maker, professional monster chaser, and mystery monger, Greg is also the contributing editor for Who Forted? 'Zine. When he's not occupied by writing about the wide world of the weird, he's busy directing and editing films like The Bigfoot Hunter: Still Searching or perusing used bookstores for antique occult books. He's currently in production on his new project: an original documentary web series titled Planet Weird, which you should totally check out. He currently lives in Toronto.

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