Who Forted? Magazine

Fort Report: Transforming Jesus, Honey Woo-Woo, and Voices of the Dead

honeywoowoo

Hello again, oddnauts! I’m back with some fresh links to the weirdest stories on the net, including one that made me use a word I hate just for the sake of a good pun.

What have we got today? News that Jesus may have been a shape-shifter, people who talk to dead people, the end of the universe, kindergarten archaeology, and a new tv show with the exploitive power of Honey Boo-Boo and Psychic Kids combined.

Read on, and stay weird!

Shape-Shifting Jesus Described in Ancient Egyptian Texts

A newly deciphered Egyptian text, dating back almost 1,200 years, tells part of the crucifixion story of Jesus with apocryphal plot twists, some of which have never been seen before. Like, for example, Jesus being a transformer.

The people who think they tune in to dead voices

Advocates of Electronic Voice Projection (EVP) claim they can use radio equipment to communicate with the dead. But are they just hearing what they want to hear? BBC investigates.

How the Higgs Boson Might Spell Doom for the Universe

Under the simplest assumptions, the measured mass of the Higgs could mean the universe is unstable and destined to fall apart. But don’t worry—it won’t happen for billions of eons. Whew.

Witchcraft Law Intended to Protect People From Fraud, Drafter Claims

The head drafter of the Criminal Code Law (KUHP) revision on Saturday claimed that a controversial article which would punish witchcraft is intended to protect people from fraud and deception, but a politician argued that it violates the rights of witches and psychics.

Psych Experts Support Keller Appeal; ’Satanic ritual abuse’ is not real

A roster of leading psychologists and related experts from around the world last week signed on to a pair of letters in support of an appeal filed on behalf of Frances Keller, who was convicted of sexual assault and who has spent the last two decades behind bars for a crime that almost certainly never happened. Not enough Satanic ritual abuse for you? Watch this video.

Five Year Old Girl Discovers Fossil of Previously-Unknown Pterosaur

A nine-year-old girl has had a prehistoric beast named in her honour after fossilised bones she found turned out to be an undiscovered species. Talk about bragging rights at show and tell.

Mystery of ‘escaped ape’ photographed on the loose in playing field

How it got to the park is a monkey puzzle, but this snap shows what appears to be an escaped ape on the loose. Has a young Sasquatch gone for a holiday in the city?

‘Ghost Inside My Child’ calls for kids with ‘past life memories’

A Los Angeles production company is holding a casting call across the US for children who claim to have memories of a past life, or children who act strange like they are reincarnated or believe that they used to be someone else. Thought Psychic Kids was exploitive? Turns out it can get worse. Alternate title for the show: Honey Woo-Woo.

American UFO reports down 36 percent after 2012 spike

UFO reporting in the United States appeared to spike during the summer of 2012 with higher numbers continuing until a significant drop in February 2013 in a trend that appears to remain currently in March, according to UFO report statistics from both the Mutual UFO Network (MUFON) and the National UFO Reporting Center (NUFORC).

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Got a news tip for the next instalment of The Fort Report? Did we miss something? We want your thoughts! Tweet us @WhoForted or leave a message in the comments section below. To stay up to date with the latest weird news, like us on Facebook!

Greg Newkirk

Greg Newkirk

Senior Editor at Who Forted
Documentary film-maker, professional monster chaser, and mystery monger, Greg is the senior editor for Who Forted? 'Zine. When he's not occupied by writing about the wide world of the weird, he's busy directing and editing documentary films like The Bigfoot Hunter: Still Searching or writing about offbeat travel for Roadtrippers. He's currently in production on his new project: an original documentary web series titled Planet Weird. He currently lives in Cincinnati.
Greg Newkirk
Greg Newkirk

3 Comments

  1. Steve Parkes

    03/27/2013 at 1:08 AM

    The Dorset Ape/Monkey is a Staffordshire Bull Terrier. It’s standing in the classic bull terrier pose and looking towards the camera which is why the head can’t be seen. US readers who don’t really know the Staffordshire Bull Terrier will understand the photograph when they think of a Pit Bull with shorter legs.

  2. Randolfo

    03/27/2013 at 3:01 PM

    Agreed. Pit bull at a dog park. Obviously. Next!

  3. butch

    04/13/2013 at 1:04 AM

    obviously a dog that was a monkey in another life that was reincarnated as a straffordshire bulldog

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